Matthew 5:43-48
Learning to Pray for Difficult People

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

New International Version

I am sharing two of my experiences this week to illustrate what I think Jesus taught us in this passage about how we relate to other people. Let me start with the good story, then I'll share the bad story.

Each year, one particular woman in our community organizes an auction and lunch at our church to raise money for the American Cancer Society. My only interaction with this woman is turning on the church's sound system for her to use, so I have only talked to her briefly--but she has left a strong impression on me. While setting up for this event is predictably hectic, and her helpers scurry in all directions to make final preparations, this woman always appears calm and is always smiling. Even during this fantic time, every person with which she talks has her undivided attention. Certainly, as the auction's organizer, she should be eager to hear from the cooks, the ticket sellers, and the auctioneers--but she is just as attentive when she and I talk about the one microphone on the stage she will use. Our conversation could be so brief, but instead, she focuses completely on my tiny part of the event, reviews with interest what I have done, and expresses her gratitude for the minuscule effort I have put forth for her event. Her focus and demeanor is so completely different from how most people act during preparation times that it surprises me every year. This woman treats people the way the Gospels tell us Jesus treated people, and when I "grow up", I want to be like this woman. It is easy to pray for her and the success of her efforts!

The bad experience was in the waiting room at my allergist's office. I had an idea what to expect when I pulled into the parking lot and a large pickup truck with a Confederate flag had taken up the two parking spaces by the front door. The truck's occupants in the waiting room were loud and easily irritated. These women disagreed boisterously on what they should do after the appointment and where they should shop, but they agreed with particular vulgarity that the price of everything was too high. One woman repeatedly disparaged the doctor's staff for how slow they were, since she had already waited ten minutes to be called to the back, and she was tired of waiting for a cigarette. The other woman complained that she couldn't let her workman's comp doctor know about her bowling. The first woman complained to the receptionist that the doctor should make himself available for her appointment when it was convenient for her.

It was easy to pray about these women--I could pray that they'd just be quiet! It was easy to pray for the staff who hurried around so they could send these obnoxious women on their way. I even had a self-righteous fantasy about giving them a "fire and brimstone" sermon right there in the waiting room.

Jesus demands a completely different response from me.

I wouldn't consider these women in the doctor's office to be my "enemies." I don't take them seriously enough for that--my attitude dehumanizes them into caricatures of behaviors I find repulsive. In Jesus' day, that same dehumanizing attitude pervaded the Israelites towards any non-Jew, so the entire Gentile world was their "enemy". But to see the world like a child of God sees the world, we must see each other person not as a label-bearing cartoon figure but as a spiritual being made in the image of God. Jesus wants me to pray for those who "persecute" me, including those who irritate me, who inconvenience me, and who proudly represent opposite views and attitudes from those I hold.

Prayer accomplishes many things when we let it, and one of those accomplishments is to change our hearts. I cannot merely "mouth" a prayer of generic blessings for these women I encountered in the doctor's office, for my insincerity drags that prayer to the ground. I'm better off voicing to God my frustrations with the experience, then waiting as God lets me know it is my frustrations that must change. Each time I earnestly try to pray for those who irritate me is another time for God to wear the sharp edges off the judgmental barbs in my personality, so I can act more like a child of God. Ironically, the more we let God change our hearts, the harder it will be for us to find new "enemies" for us to love, for we will see that everyone is our neighbor.