Luke 18:9-14
Prayer Is Messy

He also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, 'God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.' But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, 'God, be merciful to me, a sinner!' I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted."

New Revised Standard Version

It is painfully easy to identify what is wrong with the Pharisee's prayer. He is arrogant in declaring his own righteousness, for he has measured his worthiness by judging others in comparison to himself. He appears to be talking to God, but he is clearly praying so those around him could learn how holy he is. Sadly, Jesus' listeners would have been familiar with this kind of behavior in their synagogues.

But we might wonder about apparent problems in the tax collector's prayer, too. His prayer does not praise God in the way Jesus' model prayer does, but jumps straight to an urgent plea for mercy. We might expect him to follow Jesus' teaching and go into a closet to pray, but there he was, beating his chest and wailing in a back corner of the synagogue. Our modern sensitivities might be concerned that he labels himself as a sinner, hopelessly resigned to his nature, rather than looking to improve himself by calling himself one who has sinned and asking for God's help to change. Finally, we don't have any indication that this prayer made any difference at all--Jesus doesn't tell us if this man did like Zacchaeus and repaid those he had cheated, or even if the man had any intention of leaving his extortionist job as a tax collector for the Roman occupational forces.

The tax collector's prayer is messy and uncomfortable, but it honestly seeks God on God's terms, and that, Jesus taught us, is what is pleasing to God. The Pharisee wanted to define his own holiness; the tax collector admitted he had fallen far short of God's holiness. The Pharisee was bargaining and negotiating; the tax collector was pleading for mercy. We can safely assume this Pharisee repeated this same prayer at the same spot in the synagogue each day, as a demonstration and an affirmation of his goodness. The tax collector's uncouth behavior, and his choice of a back corner, lead us to believe he might not have been in a synagogue for some time until the guilt of his sins had become too great for him to bear. The Pharisee prayed from his head, but the tax collector prayed from his soul.

There is a danger inherent in studying prayer, that we would make prayer so proper and esoteric that it no longer has any value. Prayers can lose their "savor", like Jesus' parable about salt, and be good for nothing. To be honest in prayer, we must acknowledge our shortcomings, our failings, and our "messiness" in how we have not lived up to God's standards. Our prayers will often be messy, too, if they are true to who we are, and true to the mercy we all need from God.

Maybe we don't like messy prayers because we are concerned with what other people might think. Certainly the Pharisee demonstrated this focus in his prayer, and certainly Jesus praised this tax collector because his prayer was uninfluenced by those around and focused solely on God.

Maybe we don't like messy prayers because we are concerned with what God might think, but God knows our minds already. There is a great sadness in the story of Adam and Eve, where they try to hide from God after they have eaten the forbidden fruit. God knew what they had done, and God already knows all our sinful acts, our sinful thoughts, and even how our emotions fight against what we want to do. We can deny our messiness and hide it as unsuccessfully as Adam and Eve hid, or we can be honest in asking God to love us in spite of our messiness. Although what God wants for us is so much greater, God loves each of us just as we are right now. In prayer, that is how we must come to God, just as we are.